Perception

It's been a while since my last post. Of course, this is not because I have not had thoughts, but because I've had lots of them, not much time, and wonder if telling too much in a blog is a bad idea. I'm very honest with myself and would choose to be honest in any form of communication, but I don't know if airing my flaws here is the best idea.

I marvel at times how different self-perception and the perception of others can be. I feel I go through life, achieving plenty, but also carrying a lot of self-doubt, self-criticism, and not always the confidence I'd like to portray. However, I guess those thoughts don't detract from what I'm capable of doing, or from how others see me. I think I am capable of doing anything I believe I can do. That's very different from believing I can do anything I'm capable of doing.

There are times I've been tired, have not worked out, and don't think I can push myself as hard. Then I do it, and I realize that the self-doubt was more laziness talking, and not reality. I think that is a metaphor fo more than just pushing myself physically. Those mental obstacles are also self-made, and not reality.

Have I said it before in this blog? A favorite quote is one I saw on a poster when about to rent a sailboat with friends for a week in the Bahamas. We were renting a boat the day we wanted to leave because the boat we had reserved had been damaged by the people renting it the prior week. The quote:

"The difference between adventure and ordeal: Attitude."

I think Attitude drives everything. Do I want to be in a good mood or a bad mood? Does the chewing gum that somehow landed on my lap as I slept during my flight this morning ruin my whole day (and my pants) or is it something I deal with (spending time in the restroom at O'hare picking gum off of my clothing) and move on? It was NOT my gum, and I have no idea how it got there, but no, it did not ruin the whole day. Even seeing the Spartans come so close to another NCAA Basketball championship tonight and then let it slip away does not ruin my day (although if they had won it would have been great).

When I walked Destine without a leash around my neighborhood last summer and a grouchy neighbor started in on me because she might poo in their yard if not on a leash... Well I was in a great mood that day and just let it roll off me. I didn't stop to tell him I always carry and use bags, or that she poos on the leash too - it's one of the reasons we go for walks. I thought a few of those things, and often attach her leash before we pass his house, but it did not turn the beautiful, sunny, mild day into anything less enjoyable. He probably thinks I didn't care. More, I didn't care to spoil my day by a meaningless debate.

It's a choice. Being grouchy or being happy is a choice. Which events you focus on can make all of the difference. Do I think only of the negative, or think mostly of the positive? Do I believe in myself more than I doubt myself?

Life is much better when focusing on the positive in myself and in others. What you look for in people or events is what you find. If I look for the good I find it, and that's what I choose to do.