Teen Angst

In joining Facebook, having a High School Reunion, and reconnecting with classmates I haven't really known in a long time - if ever - I find myself thinking about being 13 again.

I moved back to Oak Park, Michigan when I was 12 and about the start Junior High. I stayed in Oak Park through High School graduation, making it more "where I'm from" than any of the places I've lived as a child (Sao Paulo, Brazil; Yonkers, New York; Oak Park from age 3-7; Gainesville, Florida; Tuscaloosa and Hunstville, Alabama; and then Oak Park again from age 12-18). I don't know if you recall, but 7th grade is a terrible time for kids. It was hard being the new kid. My own situation was that I had parents who were not very involved or understanding about things in my world. I had stopped even trying to tell them way before I hit 7th grade, so they were not where I turned to handle teenage or childhood angst. Mostly, I wrote, cried to myself, and went to school any way.

I know those days scarred me. Not just 7th grade, but the years before that of being the new kids, and after that of not really being accepted. I used to think about this quite a bit, and finally got over it, even if I know it colors how I deal with people even today. It's really all you can do - just get over it. Otherwise, you let it keep hurting your present and future, and not just the past. Although Facebook has made this rise to the top again, I want to put it to bed again and move on. I'm not that 13 year old self any more. Even at 13, I wasn't the person others saw. My inner self was too strong to be picked on and didn't deserve it any way.

The funny thing about reminiscing on Facebook in public or private messages is that it seems everyone - almost without exception - seemed to have had their own demons to face. Whether it was problems at home or something else, there seems to have been a lot of lack of awareness of others and either aggressive behaviour to cover it up, or some other facade. We all seem to have felt terribly alone and lonely, even those who were "popular".

I always knew the ones who picked on me and belittled me were covering up for their own insecurity, but even I did not realize how true that was.

It makes me want to reach out to all of my pre-teen and teen friends and tell them to look with empathy on each other, to be kind, to recognize what they have and not just what they might lack. I want to tell them to support their friends, and their brothers and sisters, to stand up for each other and love unconditionally, and to tell those they love that they do so. Do you think they'll listen?