On Blogging and Reunions

I've been inspired by a former high school classmate, Kevin Mittleman, to start a blog. Since this is January, it seems an appropriate time of year. Why keep a blog? Well, there have been a number of moments in my life when I wished I'd had a diary to go back and see what I was thinking back then. A blog is that diary, isn't it?

I joined Facebook a few months ago, ahead of the curve of most of my friends and colleagues by a few weeks or more. Although compared to the initial demographic for social networking, I am "old", it's been fun reconnecting with former classmates and co-workers. Some classmates I have not seen since graduation, and since I joined leading up to my 30 year reunion in November 2008, that was not only a long time ago, but also made for a nice "pre-reunion".

In fact, it made me feel like going to the reunion, even though the timing and location were not ideal. The reunion was in the Detroit area, over Thanksgiving weekend, when I have no family in Detroit and always visit Seattle, Washington and my brother over Thanksgiving. I decided to do a "fly-by" and spent about 24 hours in Detroit - just long enough to attend the reunion before heading home to Miami.

Only a couple of the friends I was closest to in high school were at the reunion, but it was fun hearing what they'd been up to since I lost track of them around the time of college graduation. What I realize is that I really needed much more time, because a good sit down and catch up was not really possible when you were trying to say hi to a lot of people. One former classmate asked what I'd been doing in the last 30 years, and slightly tired of repeating it, and not very good at it anyway, I said, "Absolutely nothing." We both chuckled, but I never did get a chance to tell him anything.

I'm getting a little off track here, because I wanted to write about blogging. Kevin Mittleman was not someone I knew well in high school. I was on yearbook staff, and sometmes think I know someone when I really never did. Kevin was probably not in any of my classes, and we weren't friends. We just didn't really know each other at all. I was the shy, bookish, nerdy girl in all of the advanced classes, and he was in another crowd. He wasn't one of the guys who teased me in Junior High or High School, so all I can say is that he was probably a little nicer than some of the folks who made me pretty miserable, especially in Junior High, because he left me alone.

Before I moved to Miami 11 years ago, I was beginning to help plan the 20 year reunion, and had a chance to meet some former classmates. It was nice. I've never been the same as anyone I've ever met, and was the outsider in those school days in Oak Park, but I did have a common base with those people, maybe more than anyone else I'm likely to meet in my life. After being away from that for so long, there was an element of "coming home" to seeing them again.

When we started gathering on Facebook, I decided to befriend some former classmates and use it as a way to not only re-connect with some of the people I knew, but to connect with some I did not really know. Kevin was one of them. Kevin has a blog.

I feel I've gotten to know Kevin more from his blog than anything, and I hope that is okay with him. He's a good writer, and he thinks about a lot of the kinds of things I think about: esoteric, philosphical things; things rooted in childhood, and how they've shaped adulthood; painful things that are happening to him, and also silly things that make him smile.

I've enjoyed his insights and wish to capture my own. I want a place in which to describe my ideas - no matter how crazy. For example, I never understood the dot-com boom, and was not surprised to see it go bust. Similarly, the housing boom, and my own rising property values, seemed out of proportion, so I am not surprised to see that implode. I think things are sometimes made to be more complicated than they need to be -- or is it just something I can see that others can't or won't? I'll start my "how to fix the housing bust and it's reverberations" entry some other time, but writing that down is a reason for blogging.

Will anyone care to read my new blog? Hard to say. I might send the link to a few people and see what they think. If I'm totally inane or boring, well, maybe this will be just for me. If my human experience and thoughts engage someone else, so be it. I can only hope that somewhere along the line what I have to say is of interest to someone and more than that, the place I take in the world produces something that matters.

I used to think my writing might be a legacy, but other than technical articles I have not written much, and I have not tried to be published often. I have a scuba article or photo here or there, but no legacy, no great american novel. My IT work is high quality, but not legacy worthy. I don't expect people to say about me "she was one of the finest data warehouse architects I've ever met." Well, I'd love that in a job recommendation, but not as a eulogy.

As a eulogy what would people say right now? I think they would say that I'm kind. I'm a friend when they really need one. I'm compassionate. Whether it was teaching them something new, or helping when they needed a hand with something, I was there. I think that is about as good a legacy as any, and sometimes I think it is the reason I had a lonely childhood - ever the outsider - to learn compassion and forgiveness. Sometimes I think it is why I have not found the love of my life and had a houseful of kids. I'm "free" to help family and friends when they need it, and otherwise I wouldn't be.

It does make me happy to be able to help others, to listen when friends need someone to talk to, but I do hope that someday I meet my soulmate, and he and I can both take care of each other and those we care about. Will it be my turn someday? Soulmate, are you out there?